The Naruto Football League
by kallmered
Summary: The guys of Naruto's generation get dragged into an unconventional football game led by Gai and reluctant Kakashi. Unfortunately the rules are fuzzy to Gai and it ends up involving a live pigskin and unwilling players. Let the game begin?...Just good fun


Here's my version of football, I'm a sucker for dumb parodies so I figured a funny one would be best. My fiancé knows more about it, but I'm the brains with the typing and he thought it would be cool to see the Naruto guys play football without the real rules.. I hope you like it!

PS: sorry I picked a corny name :)

ooooooooooooo

The Naruto Football League

a parody

"Alright you fiery fountains of youth, listen up as we divvy out the contenders! _Kakashi!_ Let's get these young vials of fire split onto teams!"

"_Yes_, Gai sensei!" Rock Lee shouted.

All the guys of Naruto's generation were gathered around as the green beast gathered them into a half-ass circle.

"Now, I don't know the official rules, but I do get the gist of this game. We have two teams and we need something called a pigskin, so I can only assume that we need to use Ton-ton."

"_What_ _the_ _hell_-!"

Gai's fist in the air stopped Shizune's outraged howl and he continued. "We need war paint, so Kankuro would you please be a man of _youth_ and share your flying colors?"

The sand ninja grumbled, not believing he was doing something so stupid, and handed over the can of purple paint.

Once everyone- well, everyone besides Neji and Sasuke- had the paint under their eyes Gai continued. "Now for the teams! Kakashi, this must be fair so we-

"Hey, why does Lee have a flower on his cheek?" Naruto said. Sure enough, when everyone loved over the green-clad ninja was proudly sporting what was clearly a flower drawn by the paint.

"Why, it is the _symbol_ of my youth, a _lotus_!"

"That's the _spirit_, Lee!"

All the other ninja either sighed or had twitching eyebrows as the sensei continued. "Now here are the teams I've compiled to be fair: I get Lee, Neji, Shino, Choji, and Gaara, and Sai, and Kakashi, you get Sasuke, Kiba, Shikamaru, Naruto and Kankuro, and Anko because she is a manly woman."

"What the-?! _GAI!_"

As soon as Anko took a shot at Gai's face, and everyone stopped snickering, Kakashi sighed as he closed his Icha Icha book and said, "Fine. I think we should have Asuma and Genma as our proctors."

"Ree-fees," Gai corrected.

"Ah…okay, fine. The…ree-fees."

Once the referees were placed across the field and became busy setting up poles as instructed, Gai continued. "Now here is the point of the game. Get the pigskin past your opposing team's poles first and you get a point. You can try and stop them from gaining a point by any means necessary. Just no blood on this field, alright my youthful chicks?"

"Sure Gai." They muttered.

"_Yes_, Gai sensei!"

"Then let's get this game started!"

Tsunade allowed them to bring out Ton-ton, squealing his discomfort, and handed him to Genma. "Ah, alright, let's begin." He muttered reluctantly with the frantic pig in his hands.

As soon as Ton-Ton was set on the ground, he took off and the ninja raced after him. Neji tripped Choji and grabbed the squealing pig and dodged many of the other ninja.

"_Byuakugan!_"

He spotted Sasuke coming on fast from behind and dodged the Uchiha's attack, but Lee showed up and kicked Neji's arm, sending the pig sailing.

"_Weeeee!_"

Naruto leapt up and snatched the pig, then took off at a run. "Ha! I got him!"

He was stuck, midair as he hopped over Kiba and when he looked down, he saw Gaara's sands had him trapped. "No _fair_!"

Kurou, Kankuro's puppet, flew up and grabbed Ton-Ton and the pig was again intercepted by Shikamaru, who'd gotten into the spirit.

"_Man_, I feel pretty bad for this pig!" he yelled over to Asuma who just shrugged. Akamaru tackled the shirker and licked his face as the pig shot of towards Gai's side of the poles.

"_Move_ little piggy of _**youth**__!!_"

A mass of flame flew in front of the pig, halting him, and they heard Choji shout in the background, "Damn, a little closer and we can get _BBQ!_"

Shizune snarled and ran onto the field and tackled Choji herself. "Take that _back!_"

Sasuke dashed forward and caught the pig in his arms. Just as the others were going to run him down he used jutsu and disappeared. Everyone's eyes went to the other side of the field where Sasuke took a step back and gave team Kakashi a point.

"_YES!_"

Genma stepped forward and grabbed the pig again, then walked out to the middle. He gingerly set the pig on the ground, nearly teared up when he saw the poor thing's eyes. "Sorry buddy…just run like _hell_!"

As soon as he let go the pig darted off and flew under the feet of many of the ninja. "I have got you little piggy!" Lee shouted and leaned down to snatch him, but Anko flew in and kicked the green-clad Ninja in the face. "_Hell yeah!_"

She was too busy congratulating herself to get more involved, so Sai actually showed up and grabbed the pig.

"It's smelly." He said and looked on as a storm of ninja were running at him.

Sai didn't move as Shino suddenly appeared before him. "Hey, would you let me have that pig?"

Sai smiled in his sorta creepy way and handed over Ton-Ton. "Sure."

"Thanks." Shino said took the pig. He was just about to dash off when one of Naruto's shadow clones appeared and caught him from behind and the pig squealed.

Ton-Ton must have had quite enough, because he disappeared completely.

Tsunade yawned from the side lines with the girls and lifted a finger. "_Game!_"

"_NO! _Little piggy _why_!?"

Gai started crying and fell to the grass blubbering and crying and Rock Lee came to his side instantly. "Gai sensei, please forgive me!?"

"Oh the powers of _**youth!**_"

They others, slightly bruised and dusty from tackling constantly, rolled their eyes and walked away.

"Let's go eat BBQ!" Choji shouted.

"Ichiraku's!"

Naruto and the pudgy ninja glared and grabbed each other's necks, shouting and howling like idiots.

The girls all met the others as everybody left to eat _whatever_, leaving Gai still crying on the field with Lee at his side. Both had shimmering tears when the sensei stood.

"Lee, your spirit was _impressive_! Let's run ten laps as reward!"

"Yes, Gai sensei!"

Together they kicked up their heels and raced off into the setting sun…

oooooooooooooooo

Ha-ha! That was pretty self-indulgent. Thank you for reading! Let me know if it was enjoyable. Thanks a lot!


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